Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Life Lessons of a Barefoot Housewife

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Some words of wisdom from a first time mom, take it or leave it!
Life Lesson #1: God is should be the first and last thing on your mind everyday.
Life Lesson #2: Being a good listener is the most important quality when it comes to true friendship.
Life Lesson #3: One truly doesn't understand love until they know the love of their child.
Life Lesson #4: Being responsible for another persons development is a little nerve racking.
Life Lesson #5: Seeing family only makes you realize how much you miss them
Life Lesson #6: It's amazing just how much spit can come out of such a little mouth.
Life Lesson #7: Who needs to buy an Ipod when you can get Pandora Radio for free?
Life Lesson #8: If you have children, work with children, live near children, or will ever see a child in your life, you should get your Basic First Aid and CPR cert. Because that six hour class could just save a life.
Life Lesson #9: Registor for a Bumbo for your baby shower. They are a great invention.
Life lesson #10: Save money on a waterproof mat for your baby by using a yoga mat.
Life lesson #11: Just because people say "third times a charm" doesn't mean it will be.
Life Lesson #12: Just because the tag says "machine wash, tumble dry" doesn't always mean that it can be mashine washined and tumble dried.
Life Lesson #13: There are some benefits from only having an income for the last four months of the year. And $5,000 in school grants is one of them.
Life Lesson #14: If you give a baby an elepant, she may put the trunk in her mouth. And if she puts the trunk in her mouth, she may hit her gag reflex and puke all over herself and you. And if she pukes all over, she may sneaze. And if she sneazes, milk might come out of her nose. And if milk comes out of her nose she may laugh and reach for the elepant.
Life Lesson #15: Your once perfect baby starts to look less perfect at two in the morning.
Life Lesson # 16: Whoever decided teeth were a good idea, didn't like sleep.e
Life Lesson #17: She's only 19 weeks but yet she could already be the next Tony Hawk. She is pulling tricks even in her sleep. A full turn spin. A 360 flip. A Caballerial. An Ollie. Ok, well, maybe not yet. But she can rollover a full 360 degrees!
Life Lesson #18: The best part of the Superbowl is not the game, the commercials, the half-time show, or even the food. It's the people you spend the evening with.
Life Lesson #19: The music you let your baby hear today will effect her tomorrow. Oasis: check. Mercy Me: check. Frank Sinatra: check. The Fray: check. Lady GaGa: Not in this lifetime. Let the molding begin.
Life Lesson #20: Your four month old may not be able to crawl, but she can do a mean crab walk.
Life Lesson #21: When the computer breaks, the other is bound to follow.
Life Lesson #22: You will cry the first time your baby sits up on her own
Life Lesson #23: Sometimes medicine is the best medicine!
Life Leson #24: No need to brush your hair when it's short!
Life Lesson #25: Airlines have done us all a favor by charging for luggage. Now this family of three is traveling light. six days, five nights, two adults, one baby, one backpack and a diaper bag. Nada mas.
Life Lesson #26: Sometimes the only thing that will calm your baby down is nursing.
Life Lesson #27: When it rains it doesn't always pour, sometimes it's just a light sprinker.
Life lesson #28: face time with family is way more important than Facebook.
Life lesson #29: Fat babies are cute, but they are harder to clean. Due to their many fat rolls acting as hiding spots for dirt.
Life Lesson #30: There is no good place to change a blow-out on an airplane.
Life Lesson #31: Theres no need to pay for guitar lessons when you can learn the basics online.
Life Lesson #32: You should always make time to be silly
Life Lesson #33: Sundays were made for family picnics.
Life Lesson #34: When you need surgury, you migt want to look into India.
Life Lesson #35: God never promised it would be easy, He just said He would never leave you.
Life Lesson #36: You might have heard of kids "practicing" kissing with their pillows or stuffed animals. But what no one tells you is that your baby will do it too.
Life Lesson #37: Just because you have lived in three states and two countries, travelied all over the US and 37 different countries, stepped foot on four different contenates, have two degrees, been an adult for just shy of ten years, been married for almost 6 and reproduced, doesn't mean you wont be treated like a kid still.
Life Lesson #38: One can only hope that thier daughtor will someday be a world travelier like her parents.
Life Lesson #39: If you think you have the worlds best parents, you haven't met Rocky and Susan Knickerbocker.
Life Lesson #40: You may put her to sleep on her back but that wont stop her from rolling onto her side.
Life Lesson #41: If your husband keeps loosing his wedding ring, it might just be time for a tatoo.
Life Lesson #42: You're never too old to experiment.
Life Lesson # 43: Parents say they can't wait to get out of the house without their kids. But once they are out, all they can think about it their children.
Life Lesson #44: Your baby will be the cutest baby you have ever seen.
Life lesson #45: No matter how hard you try, they will find a way to get those socks off.
Life Lesson #46: It's ok if yo married your best friend, as long as you like kissing him.
Life Lesson #47: Babies put everything in thier mouths, and I do mean everything. hands, feet, toys, hair, your nose, the bug they found on the ground, everything!
Life Lesson #48: It's ok, if it's five pm and you still haven't got dressed. You'll save on laundry!
ife Lesson $49: Your breastfeed baby poop will be a really weird color.
Life Lesson $50: Even perfect babies cetch colds. Just hope temperature stays down.
Life Lesson # 51: Going to the library to take a proctored exam that is due on Monday, only to find out that the password that your proctor has doesn't work and the help desk for exams isn't open on the weekends and the library is closed on Monday and your teacher wont pick up his phone or answer your emails makes for a rather frustrating Saturday! Grrr....
Life Lesson #52: Moms don't get sick days.
Life Lesson #53: You shouldn't eat 100% canned food and neither should your baby.
Life lesson #54: If you're gonna hold a babies mouth near your ear, expect to get an ear full of spit-up.
Life Lesson #55: It is pointless to put your shirt back on when your breastfeeding a newborn. Cause just as soon as you get it on, she's going to be hungry again.
Life Lesson #56: As a new mother you will realise just how much you can get done using only one hand.
Life Lesson #57: Calling your baby "perfect" isn't really bragging when your doctor agrees. It's just stating a fact.
Life Lesson #58: Getting your baby to hold still long enough to get her footprint/handprint for an ornament is not as easy as it first looks. But it will be worth it.
Life Lesson #59: There is no point in paying for cable when you have Netflix.
Life Lesson #60: You will discover really early on what type of mother you are. The kind that calls the doctor every five seconds because your baby sqeazed funny or the kind that says "Hey, your still breathing, your fine."
Life Lesson #61: Take the time to read to and play with your child everyday.
Life Lesson #62: Just when you thought your baby couldn't get any better, she behaves like a dream on the plane ride.
Life Lesson #63: You know your baby looks a lot like you when even facebook wants to tag a picture of your baby as you.
Life lesson #64: Smiling by one month, head control by two, rolling over both ways by three, sitting up by four, what's next? Crawling by five months? Talking by six? And walking by seven?
Life lesson #65: Never give up, cause when you finally set that video camera down, your baby is going to roll over.
Life Lesson #66: Who cares if you have no idea how to play the guitar if your daughter loves it.
Life Lesson #67: Just when you finish decorating, it turns out it's time to move again.
Life Lesson #68: Having a baby, going to school and being a missionary all in one year means over $5,000 on your tax refund!
Life Lesson #69: Cloth diapers are really not that much work and they will save you thousands of dollars!
Life Lesson #70: Taking a nap with your baby may sound like fun but in reality she will pull your hair, poke you in the eye, pick your nose, scratch your arm, punch you in the nose, and even spit up on you. But, hey, atleast she got to sleep.

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